Momon Perfection

I have a friend "Joe" who is a great guy. He is married and has a very sweet wife and a bunch of darling kids. He is a genuinely Nice Person. I found out the other day that he has a "problem" He told me, (Whispered voice...) "I didn't go on a mission." He was so ashamed of it...and I'm thinking, "so?" I told him that I married a man who hadn't gone on a mission either. Joe was actually relieved to know that I didn't think poorly of him because of this.

Its got me thinking about our Mormon culture and our perfect plan of How To Live Your Life. While I think it is WONDERFUL to acknowledge that yes, life can be easier if you 1. marry within your faith (another Mormon) 2. get married in the temple (then you at least have some common values!) 3. Live the gospel (duh!) But these are Ideals, and the fact is, life is hard. We are gonna mess it up. A Lot. And when we mess up, our neighbors, friends and ward members are sometimes going to know our mistakes. And then that Perfect Plan rears its head...What! No mission? What! No temple marriage? What! She/He did this/that? So what. We mess up, we move on, we repent and we forgive. THIS is the plan...repentance and forgiveness--not the Perfect Plan. The Perfect Plan is a tool of the devil.

I had the most difficult time with being divorced because it was not the plan! Letting go of my perfect plan was so hard. And it still is hard. It still haunts me, even though I know better. My life is different than the plan. I'm a single mom--a divorced mom. So many times I feel like I have failed at the most important things. But in my sane moments, I know this isn't true. I'm progressing. I'm working on it. Life is hard and messy, and Christ knows this. He has been here and lived it. He knows I will mess up time and time again. He still loves me.

My Perfect Plan was a part of my divorce. I had such a hard time opening my heart and being generous and forgiving. I forgave a little, but not totally. Its hard for me to admit that (geesh!) but its true. The things my husband was doing was against the plan! Ack! How dare he! I was too caught up in the Perfect Plan to truly help him though his darkest times. He even told me that, but at the time I thought he was full of crap. He is still mostly full of crap, but I can see my (small - hehehe) part in the whole disaster where before all I could see was his bad choices that caused me pain.

Anyway, my point is...we should give people a break when they aren't perfect. Love is the answer. (Cue the music.)